7. Valuing Differing Experiences

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about computer parts. Their hard drive was malfunctioning, hence the dialogue proceeded towards that end. We brought to the table information we had gathered over our years of geeking out. What we concluded was quite interesting.

The advice heard from peers in Korea clashed with advice heard from peers in Canada. Our Canadian friends valued company A's products while deeply mistrusting company B's. Conversely, Koreans valued company B's products whiling mistrusting company A's. It was quite remarkable to notice these sharp differences. At first, I was hesitant to accept the Korean input. It seemed illogical to me and it didn't align with my experiences. In my experience, company A's product had never failed me. Company B's products on the other hand didn't deliver the functionality and quality that I had hoped.

However, I realized I was being stubborn and unwilling to accept other's experiences as valid. Why was this? Experience can strengthen our own beliefs. However, if being too dependent on our own experiences to guide our lives may render us blind-sighted to other's inputs and insights. In the long run, this selection bias can obstruct us from truly listening. Failing to truly listen will ultimately hinder us from cultivating deep, meaningful relationships.

There's definitely something to be learned. Experiences vary person to person. Being open and willing, not just to listen, but to value the other's opinion as valid and legitimate put's us in a better place. Firstly, it displays a level of humility. Humble people are people who acknowledge the fact that they might not know everything. They recognize their view of the world is limited by their own experiences. People who insist that they are right all the time seldom leave a good taste in our mouths. Secondly, people who listen go further. Listening is the most valuable skill we can develop. We are able to gain from many different experiences and opinions and gain a clearer picture of the world. Yet most importantly, our relationships will flourish. As the Greek Philosopher said, we should listen twice as much as we speak. That is why we have two ears and one mouth.